I See
I See is a photographic series portraying three deeply moving stories of individuals who grew up in post-WWII Germany, in church-run care homes.
The portraits were taken in their own homes using a Linhof Technika large format camera and Fuji color film that had expired in 1995.
Both elements of this project—the long-forgotten children of the system, and the expired film stock—had once been considered worthless.
Together, they created something quietly powerful and deeply beautiful.
I See is a project that explores the possibility of finding beauty in what has been overlooked, dismissed, or forgotten.
heroe's
THE NEW ONE
I am the new one
That will be your name until you fight for your right to have a new one.
Now I know that it was wrong to beat my wife and our children.
I was a ticking timebomb, I couldn’t control my anxiety.
There was no way out
I slammed my head against the wall
I am thankful that my wife never left me, no matter where I went or will go.
Michael Schiltzky
(former child in care home, Westuffeln 1964-1969)
C´EST LA VIE
Between the ages of 3 and 21 I lived in 15 different orphanages.
I escaped over 190 times.
After those years, my criminal path.
Pimping, fencing etc. till I got ‘retired’ at the age of 42.
My philosophy at that time:
“Life is like a tunnel of cottonwoods, if trees should fall down as I go through, anyone else who gets tripped up is on his own.“
I was illiterate, said to be stupid and brainless. I taught myself to read at the age of 47.
Finally, after many years I was able to renovate my house with my own hands.
I cannot undo the things I did. But deep in my heart, I was not a criminal.
C’est la vie
Wolfgang Focke
(former child in care home, 12 different care homes, 1954- 1971)
THE AMBASSADOR
My name is Volker Spiegler. The first care home I was in was Kalmenhof.
The other kids called me ‘ambassador’ because I made a lockpicker out of a bedspring, and sometimes I could open doors with it… see things, and help…
A dialogue extract; Volker speaks in the voice of a child:
Volker: “Sir, I know you want to beat me…“
“…but you already beat me so hard, I can’t take it!”
Principal : “It’s your fault Volker, you stumbled.
Volker: “All right, Sir, I fell!“
Once again, there was blood in the cellar, he used to the rape the girls down there…
Principal: “You’ll get chocolates and milk if you clean it up, Volker.”
My tattoos are the tip of the iceberg.
Volker Spiegler
(former child in Kalmenhof care home 1962-1974)
THE NEW ONE
C´EST LA VIE
THE AMBASSADOR
Photography Info: Photographs have amazing versatility. The photographs were taken with expired Fuji color film in order to lend the images a unique aesthetic, and reflect the beauty that is found in imperfection.
Always open to interpretation, they can mean one thing to one person, and something completely different to someone else. Through editing and composition, a director can influence the way a story is perceived, but only so much. For this project, Im looking to empower the viewer to shape their own story. By giving them the option of picking and choosing which images they focus on.
I See is the first part of a mixed media work, created with biometrics and video (U See/U Hear/U Feel)